"angelic infirmary"

i have no idea why i am so weird.

"you can't help being helpless."

"talkings keep on saying things like..."

indeed, i try to be funny. to make people laugh, to the extent of looking stupid..
why do i crack jokes the most inappropriate moments, during calm seriousness.

crap.

"sugar sugar sugar is just something to put in coffee..."

i stutter. i have bad English diction when unprepared. i have suckish taste in jokes.
i am awkward. always. i have this monster ego.

no, i don't think i'm smart.
but i'll rule the world.

crap.

"i can ride my bike with no handlebars..."

i can't stand personal talks. i fear i'll say something wrong. slash the awkward pause. slash the coughing laugh.

i think i take advantage of people. i ask for a whole lot of favors, hoping they'd ask favors back.

"...just like lovers ought to (echo 'ought to')"

i don't know how to react to compliments. how to maintain cool.
i get easily pissed off.

i abuse 'i'

damn it.

"la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la..."

i'm writing this to apologize to everyone i offended. somewhat.

something like that.
i dunno.

maybe.

angelic infirmary"

i have no idea why i am so weird.

"you can't help being helpless."

"talkings keep on saying things like..."

indeed, i try to be funny. to make people laugh, to the extent of humiliating myself.
why do i crack jokes the most inappropriate moments, during calm silent silences.

crap.

"sugar sugar sugar is just something to put in coffee..."

i stutter. i have bad English diction when unprepared. i have suckish taste in jokes.
i am awkward. always. i have this monster ego.

no, i don't think i'm smart.
but i'll rule the world.

crap.

"i can ride my bike with no handlebars..."

i can't stand personal talks. i fear i'll say something wrong. slash the awkward pause. slash the coughing laugh.

i think i take advantage of people. i ask for a whole lot of favors, hoping they'd ask favors back.

"...just like lovers ought to (echo 'ought to')"

dahil alam kong walang makakaintindi.

sa dinami-dami ng maaaring sabihin sa pahinang ito.
sa dinami-dami ng maaari kong makilala.

bakit ganun.

dahil alam kong walang makakaintindi.

sa pagkaripas ng bus, sa paglisan mula sa kalawakan ng aking panaginip.

dahil hindi ko alam ano na nga ba.

sa pagpares ng tadhana. sa pagtingin ng diretso. sa pag-unawa.
pag-unawang matindi.

sa pagpatak ng ikatlong taon. sa pagpili ng landas na tatahakin. sa paglunok ng kayabangan. sa hawak na inaasam.

lakarin natin ang puting kaputian ng aking kalawakan, hawakan mo ang aking kamay, at pakinggan natin ang kawalan. sa muling pagpatak ng mga luha sa aking balat, sagutin mo naman ang aking tanong. may dadaan na paru-paro, at sasakalin ko ito. hanggang matapik mo ako't muli tayong magtagpo. ngitian mo ako, sige na. dahil di ako marunong kumanta, sisipol ako, dahil alam mo na anong ibig sabihin nun. hawakan mo ang aking kamay, at gisingin mo ako.

sa kawalan. sa kawalan.
sa tanyag na bintang ng aking pag-aaya. kung may ibig mang sabihin yun.

dahil ngayong gabi, maisusulat ko ang mga pinakamalungkot na taludtod.